It gets tiring, doesn’t it, not being you?
You’re always ‘on’.
When you’re not being yourself, you’re performing, acting, holding tension in your body, managing how you’re seen. It’s exhausting to keep that mask in place. Bone-deep exhaustion.
You second-guess every move.
When you’re disconnected from your true self, even the smallest decisions feel big. Because deep down, you don’t know what you actually want.
You become who others need you to be.
Shape-shifting to fit in, to keep the peace, to not rock the boat until you forget who you are when no one’s watching.
You say yes when it’s a clear no.
And every time you do, you abandon yourself a little more. That self-betrayal builds and is wearing you down.
You feel misunderstood even when you’re surrounded by people.
Because how can anyone truly get you when you’re not showing them the real you?
You fill your life to avoid yourself.
You get busy. You get shit done. But there’s an ache in your chest that says, this isn’t it, this isn’t the way.
Your body is tense.
You can’t relax when you walk into rooms, school pick up, the office. You’re being who you think you have to be and your body has to carry that.
You compare yourself to others.
Because without a solid sense of who you are, it’s easy to look sideways and think they’re doing it right, I must be doing it wrong, they seem to have what it takes in life and I don’t.
You crave peace but chase approval.
Trying to be liked, accepted, validated but never truly feeling at home in your own skin.
You’re tired of pretending.
Even if it’s subtle. Even if no one sees it. You feel it, the disconnect, the effort, the ache. And that’s the soul’s way of saying: “Come back home.”